What's The Difference Between Sexual Wants And Needs?

“You’re not meeting my sexual needs.”

Have you ever thought this about or said this to someone else?  Has anyone ever said this to you?

I have heard, and most likely will continue to hear, clients say this in my office.  Either in an individual session about their partner or in a couples session to their partner.  In a couples session, it generally becomes a high stress and high stakes moment because so many people interpret this statement to have negative implications within the context of whatever is going on in their sexual relationship.  For example, it may be used to: complain about what one partner perceives to be the other partner’s deficiencies; ask (or threaten) to open the relationship; justify the decision to have an affair; or end the relationship all together.

Read More