Why "Happy Wife, Happy Life" Is Baloney

I do not like the old adage, “Happy wife, happy life." And I know many other couples therapists who feel the same way.
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I realize there is some research from 2014 that supports this idea. Hmph.

What I find troublesome is that we are not looking at why this research supports this adage. What are the couple dynamics at play? How did it come to be that the wife’s emotional state is considered more important than the husband’s? What are the beliefs and values that support this behavior? Where did those beliefs and values come from? How is this working out for both? A deeper dive is necessary. Or, what if the wife has clinical depression? What if the wife is a perfectionist? What if the wife has chronic anxiety? Because in these scenarios, no amount of the husband’s attempts to please her will decrease the effects of those conditions and "make" her happy.

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