I work with many couples during and after the discovery of an affair or other form of betrayal. Let me tell you about one of them.
This couple came to work with me after the wife learned that her husband had had an affair with a work colleague. She was devastated and was openly questioning if she wanted to stay married to him. He was shame-ridden, deeply remorseful and afraid, saying he was willing to do anything to “save the marriage”. We spent the first year or so of their couples therapy working on managing the fallout from the affair, its impact on their relationship and the medical, financial, emotional, relational, sexual, and existential/spiritual consequences. Things mostly stabilized between them and they found a “new normal” in their lives.