Every week it seems I encounter some harmful message from the culture at large about sex that my clients have internalized. It is these harmful messages that contribute to their sexual dysfunction or their troubled sexual relationships or their outright sexual avoidance. Lately, I have been focusing on the one about who is responsible for what in a sexual encounter and the gendered politics involved in it. Let’s dive in.
Based on what this client was processing, I recently told a male client in his individual therapy session: “Your erection is not your girlfriend’s responsibility.” He then took a deep breath, paused, and bravely admitted that was painful to hear. (Hooray for honesty!)
Like actor Leslie Jordan often says on his Instagram Live videos, “How y’all doin’, my fellow hunker downers?” Seems like a good time to check in with my readers.
I am four months into doing video sessions, aka telehealth, with my clients. I quickly (and painfully) converted my sex therapy practice back in mid-March when the first cases of COVID-19 were medically confirmed in my community and we knew so little about this virus. I now continue doing teletherapy because we know more about the virus and it appears in-person psychotherapy, and all that it entails, is a higher-risk activity.