Sex As A Perpetual Problem
John Gottman, famous marriage researcher, identified two types of problems in long-term relationships: solvable problems and perpetual problems. Solvable problems are exactly that: problems a couple can solve when they come up. For example, it can be whose family do we spend Thanksgiving with this year, or how should we spend the tax refund, or how do we help our child do better in school. The couple can work together to decide on a solution. Perpetual problems are those problems that always reappear whenever that particular subject or issue arises. They can be whose family do we spend Thanksgiving with this year, or how should we spend the tax refund, or how do we help our child do better in school. (See what I did there?)
Fake, Fake, Fake, Fake
It's not just women who fake orgasm. Men can, and do, fake it too, trust me. (Can't imagine how? Message me.)
I was reminded of the phenomena of faking orgasm recently and the impact it can have. Mainly, when a person fakes an orgasm they're making the decision to lie to their sexual partner: they are pretending that they are experiencing pleasure when they in fact are not. Why would someone fake an orgasm? Sometimes a person fakes it for the sake of their partner's ego. A previous blog post of mine from June 30, 2017 expanded upon how a man's sense of himself can depend on the sexual response he evokes in his partner and how he wants to be seen as a skilled lover. Sometimes a person fakes it because they are disinterested in sex either just that night or all the time and faking it gets the act to end quickly.